Assess your life – where are you at now – finances, relationships, health, leisure and fun, and community service. Often, one area of life tends to take over, and other areas get neglected. It can be surprising to really evaluate where you are – at this point in time. Be careful. Don’t get a false sense of security from past successes that are no longer valid. For example: if you had good money habits in the past, but now are facing $7,000 in credit card debt without the resources to pay it, where you are is with your debt, not in the past with good money management habits. The human mind can rationalize and minimize facts that may be uncomfortable.
Suspend judgment – develop an attitude of curiosity and openness. This is me, not good or bad. This is where I am. Start to identify the voices in your head that are in “charge”. Is it the critical voice saying you’ll never be enough? The fearful voice that says you’ll look stupid if you try something new? Or is it the confident self-assured badass that knows where she wants to go?
Where do you want to be? Put it down, no matter how impossible it may sound, don’t get caught in the “how”. That comes later. Was there a time you made a choice, to turn away from something you really wanted to pursue, that still lingers? Let it emerge!! Reconnect to what makes you feel excited and alive!
Step into the discomfort – don’t avoid or run away – face and accept yourself. The impulse to feel overwhelmed and want to shut this investigation down can be strong!! How do you think you ended up here? Eat the apple in small bites, one step, one choice, at a time. Welcome the discomfort, or at least learn to tolerate it!
Declutter and simplify your home and workspace. Create a space that is you. This may seem unrelated to finding your purpose, but it can begin a powerful process of letting go of what doesn’t work in life. It is an outward symbol of preparing for a fresh internal landscape and you see the evidence externally. You begin to create what you want.
Hire a coach – someone to challenge you and hold you accountable. Redesigning your life and living your purpose can awaken those voices that hold you back each step of the way. Keep their influence in check by working with someone that helps you go where YOU want to go, that lets your process unfold as YOU create it, and champions you as you emerge with new purpose and energy.
Attend workshops – connect with women who are on their journey – it’s easier reinventing yourself with a team. In addition to support, you benefit from the energy they bring, the excitement of their successes, and the connection and inspiration you give each other. This is not a “me” game, it’s a “we” game.
Meditate – connect with your intuition and inner guide. This is perhaps the most challenging habit to form. Daily meditation for a minimum of 10 minutes. At first, your mind wants to interject and say – pay attention to me, pay attention to this problem, pay attention to this list, pay attention to this plan. Sticking with it each day until you have a quiet mind is challenging. What is the benefit of a quiet mind you ask? You may have an intuitive thought during meditation, but more likely, later in your day when you are making an important decision, an intuitive thought will emerge. You will be surprised and delighted, a new opportunity to choose will be present that didn’t exist before. That is the benefit of meditation.
Journal – get to know your new best friend – YOU! As you let your inner thoughts emerge without censure, you discover what you really think, how you really feel, what you really want, how you limit yourself, and beat yourself up. We all do it. Journaling can become your opportunity to stop, reflect, and become a deliberate influencer in your own life.
Read – books that inspire you and make you think, books written by women you’d like to be like. Books that challenge you to be more than you are, but from a place of acceptance and mindful choice, not from a mission to become good enough. There is a difference.
Pamper Yourself! Go on retreats, get massages, take a day just for you and do exactly what recharges you and fills you up, either alone or with family or friends. Take time to fall in love with you, who you are, what you contribute, and how much value you bring to your relationships and work. There is only one like you in all the world, there is so much to appreciate!